The “cosmic pause” of COVID19 pandemic has ushered in a time of firsts in human history:
- First pandemic in lonnnng time.
- First non-pomp-n-circumstance-type of graduation ceremonies
- First nearly full in-classroom-to-online shift within the education arenas
- First major interruption of major league and collegiate sports
…and a host of other firsts on personal and professional levels.
This “cosmic” pause has highlighted how much our world systems have been on auto-pilot.
Being On Auto-Pilot Creates Assumptions
Being on auto-pilot lulled me onto the slippery slope of assumptions.
My family and I had lived in NJ for nearly 20 years. I’d had a successful career as a senior staff psychologist at a Big 10 University and had been in year three of building a private practice based on the collaborative relationships I had as a clinical and sport psychologist and education consultant.
Things were clicking in NC as I began to put into place all of my “northern plans” into my new southern home.
I’d expected to flick the switch and replicate what I’d previously done business-wise in NJ.
However, on October 1st I had a fluke accident; slipping down a flight of stairs.
When I think about that fall now, I don’t shudder anymore.
Because during that time, I learned a new way to C.O.P.E. with a “cosmic” pause.
The following 4 Mindset Keys saved my sanity and gave me a new appreciation for how pauses can make real life happen. My hope is that you’ll find them helpful during this 2020 cosmic pause.
Mindset Key #1: Catch Yourself
Going through the motions – being on autopilot – can lead to a slip in judgment or it can result in your letting things that really need attention slide.
Case and point: losing my footing on October 1st.
As a result of that fall, I learned that it’s important to be more mindful of what’s going on in my body and surroundings.
Awareness helps mitigate slippage.
I also learned that not only is catching oneself important, but also letting oneself be caught is also beneficial.
It can be so freeing to receive help from others, especially other moms.
It can be so hard for women, and moms in particular, to accept help. There seems to be this pervasive underlying belief that we just have to make things happen. Why? Because we’re Mom.
I was no exception. Admitting to being in need was an extremely hard part of the coping process for me. Why?
Need exposes vulnerability.
Then to receive help is equally humbling.
The mere act of someone offering you help – as a “gift” being given to you with nothing expected in return – makes the exchange “uneven.” But while that unevenness can make one feel “less than” in the short-run, it can – and does – make you stronger in the long run.
The strength comes from taking the time to pause to consider where you are, which will help you in this journey called Life.
When I accepted help from such wonderful moms, it was the first time that I felt that I was Divinely/Cosmically given space to pause and do Mindset Key #2.
Mindset Key #2: Own Your Issue(s)
A Cosmic Pause will prompt you to re-evaluate your current trajectory. That trajectory will inevitably lead you to face (and hopefully own) your issues.
Often during this cosmic pause, many of my Mom clients have ended up having some form of internal dialogue with themselves. The main theme of this dialogue is: am I really happy?
The follow-up question to that is usually, “Would it even be possible to do what I really love . . . or even make a living at it?”
This is the crossroad at which a choice needs to be made. And what you choose to do in that moment will have definite ramifications.
Which is what makes the next key to COPE so important, and that is to . . .
Mindset Key #3: Prepare Yourself
Often, when you hear the saying “Count the costs,” it’s in reference to calculating the
- Financial risks
- Resources available & accessible
- Tools currently in your possession
All that is good.
But rarely are even deeper costs discussed like the costs
- To you, if you don’t do what is on your heart to do
- To your immediate family, if you don’t do what is on your heart to do
- To your current professional and social circles, if you don’t do what is on your heart to do.
When I was growing up in the Bronx, NY, I remember the first time I had to ride the subway by myself. I prepared to the “n-th” degree.
The ride was quite a journey the first time out! It was frightening as it was exhilarating.
…and I was not the same afterwards (in a good way!)
If you’re looking to progress during a cosmic pause, then when preparing yourself, you will need to remember that while the journey may be long and arduous . . .
Longing for the way things use to be will make you miss the way things could be.
This brings me to the last Mindset Key you’ll need to do to COPE with a Cosmic Pause, which is:
Mindset Key #4: Embrace The Journey . . . & Yourself
After you have caught yourself, owned your issues, prepared yourself, you then need to take that next step and embrace the journey and the you whom you’ll become.
The neat part about the journey is that you won’t know exactly whom you’ll become, because you haven’t had the experiences yet. By embracing that fact that with each next step and each new experience, you’ll end up becoming the you you’d never thought possible!
Remember that to COPE with the COVID19 “cosmic pause,” you’ll need to
- Catch yourself
- Own your issues
- Prepare yourself
- Embrace the journey and yourself.
Start that journey today by downloading the EPUB version of my best-selling book, What Mothers Never Tell Their Daughters.