What's For Dinner, During COVID19?

Ever made a dinner for your family and no one said, "Thank you?"

You go through your day and, without a second thought, you stop what work you were likely doing and refocus your energy and time on cooking dinner for your family.

However, it seems like some members of your family have not given you (or your efforts) a second thought. They just assume that mom--you--are making the meal. It feels like they've taken for granted that dinner will "just be there."

You'll be encouraged to know that it doesn't have to be that way for you and your family. Keep on reading, because near the end of this post,I'm going to make a dinner recommendation that works for all families, no matter what you like to eat.
The expectation that you will be making the meal is just what it is. The expectation.

Your kids work at school. And now, with the social distancing of COVID19, their homework is really being done at home.

Your spouse, partner, or significant other (SPSO) works at some kind of job.

You work -- at a job outside of home, at home, or your home is your job--and you are expected to also make dinner at the end of the day.

What's that all about?

It just seems that this task of making dinner more often than not falls on you...mom. That is, unless your SPSO is good at or loves to cook.

Granted, there is a nurturing aspect of being a mom. You carried your children in your womb. Your body fed them through your umbilical cord. So, the natural assumption is that mom will continue the feedings by making the meals for her family.

The flow of nurturing --and the expectation of it--just is what it is.
The "Bad Mom" Blues
If you're a mom, then it is natural to think that If you don't make a meal (i.e. dinner), then your children won't be nourished.

And if your children aren't nourished, then you'll be deemed and seen as a being a "bad mom." This label "bad mom" has such a negative connotation that it can cause you to experience the blues.
So, in order to avoid the blues, you push through the tiredness, the busyness, and COVID19 social distancing constraints and make dinner anyway. That is the way it is.
Guilt By Association
When you become a mom, you become part of "the club." Membership in this club is by virtue of the fact that you've either:
· physically birthed another being into existence or
· you have opened up the womb of your heart to take in (via foster care, adoption, or "just pitching in") and committed to care for a child.

The American Express slogan--"Membership has its privileges."--is spot on when it comes to being part of the "mom club." In America, it appears to be very easy for a mom to get saddled with the debt burden of "mom guilt."

The guilt by association stems from what society expects moms to be and do.

Moms are expected to make things happen--like dinner--in addition to doing a whole host of other things. And if you don’t, then you've done something wrong and "owe" something more to your children and family.

So, what's a mom to cook for dinner?
As time for COVID-related social distancing get extended nationally, it's possible that the fabric of family ties may get strained in the forced closeness. However, before anything gets too tumultuous, there is one food item to you can serve to your family for dinner.
Serve B.E.E.F. For Dinner
As a mom, you are a leader in your family.

The good leaders know when they need help. A great leader knows where to go for and from whom they can get help.

Amidst the COVID19 social distancing, your children can actually be one of your greatest assets, regardless of their ages.

The reason you may not have considered this beforehand is that you may not have really faced the expectations you have of yourself. This blind spot likely stems from the expectations others--like your family...your children--have of you.

To address these expectations, you will need to serve B.E.E.F. for dinner and
...to the forefront of your mind and heart and evaluate it for its reasonableness.

Given that you may now have your children at home while you have to work at home, your time and energy may be more taxed. So, is it really reasonable to expect that you will still be able to make dinner everyday? Maybe not.

For a sample of how to bring every expectation forward you can...
Download Your FREE PDF
.4 Tips to bring B.E.E.F. to your mealtimes.
The trick here is to make sure that while you are addressing your family's expectations of you, you are also adjusting your expectations of them. Be gracious as to them as you would have them be gracious towards you.

Before you know it, the aroma of a new rhythm and appreciation will develop within the "kitchen" of your family and enhance the dinner during Covid19.
If you're not sure where or how to start delegating tasks to your family and need ideas, then Schedule A 20-Minute Talk with me.

You'll get tailored answers for your specific situation.
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©Dr. Michelle Deering